Why Every Mom Needs a Night Away at a Hotel for Self-Care

It’s not a “Momcation,” it’s a relaxing evening.

As the working mother of a four-year-old boy, finding time for myself is a rare luxury. My son typically wakes me up at 7 a.m., making mornings particularly challenging. A 2018 survey indicated that getting a child ready for school requires parents to ask their kids multiple times each morning to get dressed, brush their teeth, and, for the sake of sanity, put on their shoes. By the end of the week, the cumulative time spent getting kids ready essentially adds up to an extra day of work—a reality that sheds light on parental stress levels.

Moreover, weekends are another ballgame entirely for parents. Before motherhood, I looked forward to weekends as precious opportunities to unwind, perhaps have a leisurely shower or enjoy some personal time. However, post-kids, weekends often mean zero time alone due to the lack of daycare, school, or camp—essentially 48 hours of continuous family togetherness. Consequently, when we do manage to carve out any time to ourselves, guilt typically accompanies it, making it harder to truly relax.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my son and husband, but the buildup of not having personal time results in significant stress. Crafting a racecar out of Lego may be enjoyable the first few times, but by the fourth go, it’s overwhelming. As a travel writer, I’ve had the advantage of escaping for solo travel, and even while working, simply spending a night alone in a hotel can be incredibly rejuvenating—no extravagant “Momcation” needed. A bit of pampering combined with the absence of responsibilities can significantly recharge my mental state.

Last July, my husband willingly took on our son for one night, allowing me to visit the new Whitney Hotel in Boston. Upon arrival, I was enamored by the large tiled rain shower, the cozy robe, and the plush bed adorned with a monogrammed blanket. Even a basic motel would have sufficed if it were clean and quiet. Although I missed reading to my son and kissing him goodnight, the tranquility of dining alone at the hotel’s restaurant—in complete silence—was both healing and reviving, culminating in a blissful 12-hour sleep.

How to Enjoy Eating Alone as a Solo Traveler

Abbey Soclof, a married mother of two toddlers living in Manhattan, recounts her experience spending a night alone at the Time Nyack hotel, approximately an hour north of the city. “While my husband participated in a year-long fellowship, he found himself away from home for several nights. I was envious of his ability to get a full night’s sleep and have ‘away time,’” she shares. “I simply needed a night and a day to myself.” On her day off, she relaxed by the pool, explored the charming town of Nyack, treated herself to dinner, and returned the next day feeling refreshed and revitalized.

Similarly, Meg Cohen, a physician from Baltimore with two children, recalls her own need for personal time. “When my son was about 4 months old, I lived in a one-floor condo. Even if my husband helped with the baby, I couldn’t sleep whenever I heard him cry.” One day, she decided on an impulse to check into a Marriott Courtyard at around 9 or 10 a.m., spending the entire day resting and, thanks to her husband taking charge, she woke up feeling completely restored.

Cohen articulates a common sentiment among mothers: “It can be difficult to relax fully when surrounded by our children. We often find ourselves physically engaged with our kids all day—never left alone long enough to take a bathroom break, shower, or enjoy a meal. Therefore, securing time alone is a precious luxury.”

However, not everyone may have the means to enjoy a hotel stay, nor might they have a partner or caregiver available for overnight assistance. While a night off is undoubtedly necessary for any parent—especially considering the stress levels recent studies have highlighted—it is essential to acknowledge that some individuals may experience challenges accessing such opportunities. If possible, explore alternatives like utilizing reward points for budget accommodations, reaching out to family or friends who may offer a child-free space, or organizing a sleepover for your children to facilitate some alone time at home.

Ultimately, uninterrupted time alone is crucial for mothers to reconnect with their own needs and desires separate from parenting and career obligations. A single quiet night can work wonders to reset one’s mental state… if only for a brief period.