So, you’ve planned a flight with a travel companion, but perhaps seats next to each other were not reserved. While you can’t ask the airline to facilitate a move for fellow passengers in advance, Whytney Rawls, a seasoned flight attendant and travel expert, offers insights to help you still find a way to sit together.

“There is absolutely a way and a time to ask fellow passengers to swap seats, along with circumstances in which you should never do this,” Rawls shares with iBestTravel.

Ask the gate agent for help.

To begin, Rawls recommends starting at the gate. If your flight isn’t fully booked, the gate agent may assist with last-minute changes to the seating chart, allowing you and your companion to sit side by side.

Always wait until boarding is finished.

According to Rawls, “the unofficial, yet proper rules to follow are to sit in your original seat first, wait until boarding is completed, and remain within your seating class/zone. Only then may you kindly ask a fellow passenger if you can swap seats.” She emphasizes that sitting in the wrong seat can disrupt others and the crew, so patience is key.

Be mindful of who you’re asking to swap seats.

Once boarding concludes, it’s time to make your request. However, Rawls advises careful consideration before approaching anyone. “You should never ask if the passenger you want to swap with is a child, elderly, or a person with special needs requiring assistance, for obvious reasons,” Rawls explains.

Consider where the person you’re trying to swap with is sitting.

Avoid requesting an upgrade. “Don’t ask to swap into an exit row or a seat with more legroom if you’re not in the same class of seat,” cautions Rawls. “Typically, passengers pay a premium for those seats, making such requests inappropriate.”

Be cognizant of the flight crew’s time.

If you decide to ask a flight attendant for assistance, it’s best to do so when they are less busy. “You should always wait until they’re not visibly occupied for the best outcome,” Rawls suggests.

The in-flight crew usually has a seating chart readily available and strives to meet customer needs whenever feasible. However, with 100 to 200 passengers onboard and pre-flight responsibilities, accommodating a seat swap may not be their top priority.

Finally, always take ‘no’ for an answer.

If the person declines your request, it’s disappointing, but getting upset won’t improve the situation. After all, they have also paid for their seat. “If someone isn’t willing to swap, regardless of their reasoning, don’t argue with them,” Rawls advises. “It’s their seat.”