Self-Love and Growth Through Solo Travel in Vietnam

How one traveler found the road to self-love, personal growth, and healing in Vietnam after her engagement ended.

Introduction to the Journey

Four days after my fiancé and I broke up, I packed up my life in Atlanta and moved to New York City. Two days later, I flew to Vietnam and backpacked my way through the north of the country as a solo female traveler. While those days were the hardest of my life, traveling to Vietnam was the best thing I could have done for myself.

Initial Move and Feelings

Backing up a bit, I had been living in Atlanta with my fiancé for two years. He had a demanding career, and I found myself spending much of my time alone in a city where I had no family and had only just started to make new friends. It just wasn’t working. Though I loved him, in the end, we decided to part ways.

It wasn’t a decision that came easily; the intense combination of love and fear made choosing what to do seem nearly impossible. The worry I could never move on or would never find someone else had me at a standstill – until trusted friends and loved ones finally asked, “But what if you do? What if you move to New York and your life turns out better than you ever thought it would?” I thought about that. Could I really do it? Could I really move across the country and start my life over? They thought I could. They believed in me; they gave me the courage to see in myself what they saw in me. But what if I do?

Making the Decision to Travel

So I did. The decision was made, but I knew I couldn’t start a new life without taking a moment to pause and process everything, and acknowledge all I was leaving behind. I booked a flight to Vietnam. While I have taken many trips alone, this one was special — more important, somehow. I spent so much of my life in Atlanta by myself, but with this trip I wanted to take back the power to choose to be on my own. I wanted to remember that I was strong and capable and could face this alone. I knew it would be the first step on a long road to healing and self-rediscovery.

Experiencing Hanoi

Vietnam had been on my radar for some time; I had been wanting to go back to Southeast Asia, and it seemed like the perfect place to reconnect with nature, experience a new culture, and meet notoriously friendly, welcoming travelers — an important consideration as a solo traveler. Having visited 50 countries (and many of them solo), I was already a fairly seasoned traveler, but it had been a while since I had taken an international trip by myself. At age 29, part of me felt like I might be a bit too old for backpacking and staying in hostels — an experience most often reserved for younger 20-somethings fresh out of college, or European students taking the summer off.

I was feeling especially down on myself considering I had just been about to get married and start a family, and now here I was, single, nearly 30, and about to take yet another solo trip across the world. What if I didn’t make friends? What if people were unfriendly and I spent the entire trip feeling sad and lonely? My old fears and anxieties about traveling alone started to bubble up, as they always did before a big trip. But I steeled myself against my doubts and tried to lean into living my “Eat, Pray, Love” moment with confidence and excitement.

Adventures in Ninh Binh

My plan was to fly into Hanoi and make the city my home base, traveling to Ninh Binh and Ha Long Bay from there before flying back to New York. After a redeye flight and 10-hour layover in Istanbul, I finally made it to Vietnam. The second I stepped out of the airport into the sweltering heat of the afternoon, I felt a jolt of excitement rush through me; this was happening. I hopped in a cab to Central Backpackers Hostel and took it all in; the endless motorbikes zooming past on all sides, some with entire families riding on a single bike, and street vendors in traditional nón lá hats perched in villages built along the highway. The honking, beeping, and complete chaos awakened something in me I hadn’t felt for a long time. I arrived at my hostel in Hanoi’s Old Quarter and went on a walk through the area. Though I had been to Southeast Asia before, this was completely different from anything I had ever experienced. The lingering French colonial influence was evident in the city’s architectural style, but the buildings and sidewalks covered in vines and lush, tropical greenery felt distinctly Vietnamese.

The intense humidity didn’t deter the locals from eating bowls of piping hot phở on every street corner, and tiny food stalls selling bánh mì and bún chả lined every block. I strolled through the winding maze of streets, dodging ceaseless motorbikes, street vendors, and cars, wishing my eyes were capable of taking in even more of it all at once. I made my way through shops and cafes until I reached Hoàn Kiếm Lake, a peaceful oasis in the heart of the bustling city. As I walked along the lakeside path, the waterfront was alive with groups of women taking dance classes, men practicing tai chi, families with children on a late afternoon stroll, and teenagers giggling and snapping pictures on their phones. To me it seemed like the perfect snapshot of everyday life in Hanoi. As I walked along the busy Vietnamese street, completely alone, dripping with sweat, I felt perfectly in my element. I thought to myself once again … but what if you do?

Journey to Ha Long Bay

The final leg of my journey brought me to Ha Long Bay, a UNESCO World Heritage Site and one of the new Seven Natural Wonders of the World. I signed up for a two-night, three-day excursion with Halong Hideaway tours who took care of everything from start to finish, which I was so grateful for, as it would have been nearly impossible to navigate my way from Hanoi to Ha Long Bay on my own. We left from Hanoi by bus, then took a speedboat-ferry, then another bus, and then another ferry to finally arrive at our destination, which was an enormous yacht equipped with two Jacuzzis, spacious cabins with private balconies, and three top decks with breathtaking views of the surrounding bay. Regardless of the taxing travel day, it was great to be in a phenomenally beautiful locale with fellow travelers who were ready to relax and have a good time. We cruised through the bay, astounded by the otherworldly limestone karsts jutting out from the water.

Conclusion and Reflections

Finally, it was time to make the journey back from Ha Long Bay to Hanoi. Drained from a long travel day, I decided to take a break from the hostel and spend my final evening in the luxurious (yet budget-friendly) Allure Hotel down the street, where I was greeted with warm Vietnamese hospitality and the cool flow of air conditioning.

My trip to Vietnam was the perfect transition from my old life to the new one. It gave me time to grieve and space to think about everything from far away, instead of throwing myself right into something new before I was ready. It allowed me to get back out there and reignite my curiosity and excitement for the world. It brought me home to myself. Vietnam made me realize that no matter how much time passes, travel always welcomes you back like an old friend. You’re never too old (or too young) to get out there and start exploring everything this extraordinary world has to offer. This trip opened me up to self-love, self-rediscovery, and personal growth, and served as a reminder that sometimes it’s OK to take a leap of faith into the unknown.

I know things still won’t be perfect for a while as I process the ending of my most recent chapter, but I’m ready to face whatever comes next with positivity and openness. For so long I was focused on the life I thought I should have, and not the life I actually wanted to have. Now I’m determined to choose myself and do the things that make me feel happy and whole. The ache in my chest gets a little bit duller with each passing day, and while it still hurts, I’ve started to let myself find joy in starting over.

In the end, you might never solo travel the world, decide to radically change your story, or live a life that’s most authentically yours. But what if you do?