Brave-ish: One Breakup, Six Continents, and Feeling Fearless After Fifty

In her new book, “Brave-ish: One Breakup, Six Continents and Feeling Fearless After Fifty,” travel writer Lisa Niver explores the ways traveling across six continents helped her heal and start anew.

For years, I dreamed of being among the Buddha statues at Borobudur temple in Indonesia. When I finally climbed to the top level, I looked out and saw the blue sky above and the green fields around us, with the carved, bell-shaped stupas surrounding me. How could I be in such a peaceful, historic place, fighting with my partner again about the same old issues? I yearned to return to Israel and Italy to see friends and family, to explore Ireland and Iceland for the first time… yet he did not want to include any of my choices on our travel list. Consequently, I felt hopeless.

Recognizing that I had to make a leap, I recalled Ray Bradbury’s words: “Jump, and you will find out how to unfold your wings as you fall.”

Bravely Moving Forward After a Breakup

My divorce was a devastating breakup that ignited a series of life-changing adventures. Initially, I struggled with constant tears, yet gradually I conquered my personal demons and emerged stronger and wiser, ready to embrace new travels.

Through a series of 50 introspective challenges and global travels, I explored my passions — from salsa dancing to ceramics — and confronted my fears, even jumping out of a perfectly good airplane. I sought various therapies and reinvented myself by embracing the unknown and facing 50 challenges, one tiny step at a time.

Each challenge pushed my limits— it certainly was not easy. There were numerous times I felt like giving up, but ultimately I discovered personal growth, resilience, and newfound confidence. I transitioned from heartbreak to triumph on my journey to heal my mind, body, and soul.

Healing My Body in Utah, California, and Ireland

As a child, I experienced many accidents, believing I was just clumsy. In reality, I had undiagnosed eye issues that were only revealed during my divorce. I committed to a year of vision therapy at 47, where most participants were seven years old. Many challenges involved revisiting old athletic pursuits, often accompanied by multiple lessons and tears.

Growing up, I skied but never felt confident on the slopes. A true highlight occurred when I skied at Deer Valley with Fuzz Feddersen, an Olympic aerialist. Not only did he guide me around the mountain, but he also offered kind words about my skiing abilities. While I wouldn’t compete in the Olympics, skiing with a champion allowed me to acknowledge my progress.

Following a women’s ski clinic at Kirkwood Mountain, where I experienced the joy of being snowed in after an epic storm, I received an invitation to Pumps on Pedals, a women’s biking weekend in Lake Tahoe. Initially, I dismissed the idea as I believed I despised biking after a childhood accident that sent me to the hospital. However, encouraged by a friend, I reconsidered. Surprisingly, mountain biking at Northstar Lake Tahoe became my proudest moment. Though I felt terrified, with so much padding I resembled a robot, I raced down the blue (intermediate) slope, wind in my hair and sun on my face, grinning from ear to ear. I had triumphed.

While in Kilkenny, Ireland, I participated in a hurling lesson, an ancient sport similar to hockey and lacrosse. Having been the child unable to play tetherball, I had long avoided sporty activities. Nevertheless, I learned to throw the silotar (ball) using the hurley (stick). The team told me I was doing well, and it felt like a personal victory to agree to a lesson. That night, I proudly slept in my jersey.

At Ashford Castle, I learned falconry, a surreal experience that involved walking through the forest with a bird of prey, Joyce, a six-year-old Harris hawk. Heeding Tommy’s instructions, I launched Joyce into the sky, and she returned for a treat I held on my glove.

Next, I tried skeet shooting with Olympian David O’Loughlin. His expert guidance helped me hit most of my targets. Dr. Brodney had been correct: improving my vision positively impacted my athletic abilities.

Healing My Soul in the Galapagos

At summer camp, like many kids, I secretly hoped for candy treats. I took with me a book about Darwin’s expeditions, making it a dream come true when I finally sailed on Ecoventura, a Relais & Chateau yacht, throughout the Galapagos Islands. I had yearned for decades to see my first blue-footed booby and discovered red-footed boobies and Nazca boobies along the way.

One of the joys of travel is the continuous discovery that surpasses initial expectations. While snorkeling, I encountered curious sea lions and lively penguins that fascinated me with their antics.

Days filled with activities such as kayaking and hiking, paired with incredible food and accommodations, awaited me. Initially, I worried about traveling without a partner, yet I realized his anxiety had become an anchor rather than a buoy; I was happier on my own.

It is often said that nature has the power to heal the soul, and I experienced this firsthand. Swimming alongside endemic marine life and observing long-desired birds allowed me to reconnect with myself.

Healing My Mind in Iceland

While soaking in the hot waters of Sky Lagoon in Iceland, I learned the Icelandic phrase Þetta reddast, which means, “Don’t worry, it will all work out.” I had been apprehensive after my marriage ended, fearing I might never travel or laugh again, or escape feeling like a failure. Immersing myself in contrasting temperatures was fitting in a land of fire and ice, reminding me that everything need not be so extreme or resolved all at once. Learning to see shades of gray rather than simply black or white, while indulging in hot and cold, sparked a necessary reassessment. Leaving my marriage was not a failure; staying would have meant neglecting my own well-being. Just like travel, sometimes it’s vital to adapt our plans to allow for rest or exploration of new paths.

I hold a firm belief in the transformative impact of travel. For me, returning to my travels post-divorce— and my journey through Asia— facilitated healing and growth. Gaining brief insights through others’ perspectives allowed me to recalibrate and reassess my life moving forward.

My challenges were diverse: I hula hooped with villagers in the Solomon Islands, walked around an active volcano in Vanuatu, and met remarkable individuals who believed in me even when I did not. I found inspiration and a renewed zest for life. Ending my marriage did not mark the end of my adventures; it simply called for a new chapter.

Lisa Niver is the author of “Brave-ish: One Breakup, Six Continents and Feeling Fearless After Fifty,” and an award-winning travel expert who has explored 102 countries on six continents.