How to Navigate All Those Bachelor and Bachelorette Party WhatsApp Groups

29 May 2024

As I approached my late twenties, life took a surprising turn as my friends started getting engaged and planning weddings. Invitations poured in, along with Save The Date magnets, detailing pre-wedding activities, dress codes, and more. Given my previous wedding experiences were limited to family events, I realized the financial commitment to celebrate my friends’ achievements was higher than I ever anticipated. This experience made me start a dedicated fund just for attending weddings, while also needing to plan my annual leave around their big days. Shortly thereafter, I found myself added to a WhatsApp group titled ‘Jenny found her hunk, so we’re getting drunk [aubergine emoji]’.

Hen dos and stag dos—known as bachelorette and bachelor parties in other regions—are traditional celebrations but can evoke mixed feelings among friends. While many look forward to gathering with friends, others may struggle with the time and financial commitments required for an event in which they have little say. Although the desire to celebrate is common, the reality of attending such elaborate events, particularly destination ones, can pose challenges for those balancing finances and responsibilities.

No, You Don’t Have to Go to a Friend’s Hen or Stag Do

First and foremost, it’s important to recognize that it’s perfectly acceptable to decline an invitation. If attending a bachelor or bachelorette party is beyond your budget or if time constraints are an issue, you should not feel pressured to partake. If you are already managing the costs associated with a destination wedding while trying to make your experience as enjoyable as possible, prioritizing your financial and logistical well-being is crucial.

Be Honest and Open

In instances where you’ve chosen not to attend a hen or stag celebration due to financial or personal constraints, honesty is the best policy. Rather than fabricating an excuse, which often backfires, communicate your situation clearly. You might express your gratitude for the invitation while kindly explaining that attending the hen or stag do isn’t feasible for you at the moment.

Don’t Hesitate to Ask if You Can Only Attend Part of the Festivities

If you’re interested in attending but have limited availability, consider asking if you could join for a portion of the celebrations. Inquire with the organizer about their itinerary and see if it’s possible to celebrate together for a shorter duration. Being open about your limitations will facilitate understanding while allowing you to participate in a meaningful way.

Get the Full Programme Before Deciding

Before committing to a weekend getaway for a hen or stag do, obtain a complete breakdown of proposed activities, costs, and deadlines. Destination parties vary widely, with some being more relaxed than others. It’s worth questioning whether traveling abroad might be more economical than local activities—sometimes, local transport costs can exceed what you’d spend on a quick flight. Always gather all pertinent information before making a decision.